Through My Eyes
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Long Drive Home It was an exhausting day. I did my pre-admitting in Laguna Beach. Drove back to Huntington Beach for my internal medicine appointment. I now have to do a stress test before surgery! Had a 40 minute phone consultation with the nutritionist and then drove back down to Corona Del Mar to meet with the trainer. Oh and I also did the last of my Christmas shopping in between appointments. Now I just have the flowers to order. I didn't get on the road until 6 pm to come home. Yeah I know, stupid to drive in LA at that time , but I needed to get back. When I do long drives I get a chance to touch base with myself again. To really reflect on what's going on in my life and how I'm coping. I listened to my RENT soundtrack most of the way home, but long about the Sepulveda Pass I put on Kristin Chenoweth's "Just As I Am". The third track just hit me like a ton of bricks. "Because He Lives" is a song my mom just loves and we used to sing it a lot around the house, not to mention all the times we sang it with the church choir. I guess with everything going on with mom right now it just opened the flood gates. So there I am on the 405 transitioning to the 101 with tears pouring down my face. ( Thank the good Lord it was dark! ) All of a sudden it just hit me, "what I'm I going to do without momma?", at least now I can see her and be with her but what if the cyst is cancer....what then? Just as fast as the thoughts and fears were coming, the answer came... a calming peace and a reassuring voice saying "I will provide." Yup that's what gets me through each day. I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future and He alone will get me through. Oh the next track on the cd... "Abide in Me.".....you bet I will!
Kristin Chenoweth "Just As I Am" Amazon |